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How Do We Reconcile after a Dispute with a Loved One
The usual sorry does not work anymore
Peace is not the absence of conflict. It’s the ability to handle conflict by peaceful means. — Ronald Reagan
Conflicts are inevitable in any form of relationship but handling it well brings about stronger and authentic connections. Remember disapproval does not mean hate.
Hugs, sorry or words like ‘calm down’ may most of the time not work. In fact, it may trigger a person with more anger. Rather, succeed in making actions and basic gestures, such as granting and sharing the favourite bar of chocolate. To restore intimacy and harmony.
The moment you recognize a simple difference is charging up to a heavy argument, one of you have to get awareness to take a break. Ask or let the person know and go alone for a while to calm yourself, breathe, drink some water or even count ten to one backwards, whatever which gets you out of the rage build-up. Be the more mindful one to ask for twenty minutes to interact again when you can get your conversation on a friendly track.
Hopefully the other has calmed down by the time you see again, if not ask him or her to do the same. Offer a cup of water, it’s a better way to say let’s patch it up than an actual ‘sorry’ immediately.
